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| Scratch off voting and having a career off my life goals. Last night was definitely historic. Obama is the first minority present. More importantly, he won handedly. We, as a nation, needed to have a clear and decisive victor so that it feels more of a mandate of the people for Obama's presidency. Though it was 53% to 46%, remember that this is a significant number due to the total number of votes casted (roughly 120,000,000). I'm hoping he pulls us out of Iraq. There's no need to invest so much in war when we're suffering an economic crisis. The only major negative of last night was Prop 8 passing and thus limiting the rights of same-sex couples. In other news, I've been studying hard at work. So many new acronyms and procedures to learn. It almost feels overwhelming, but I'm hungry to learn it. This opportunity has unlocked so much for me. I guess, I always wanted to work this kind of job, even if I didn't readily know it from the start. Just a short update for now. Talk to you all soon. -=Chris=- | | |
| I feel so free. I've not felt this happy, this excited, and this driven since 4 years ago. 4 long years of doubting, worrying, and resentment. 4 long years of restraining, reassessing, and rebuilding my whole being has finally come to fruition. On Tuesday, October 14, 2008, I began my career as a contract administrator for the DCMA. First and foremost, I have to thank Raf for pointing the way to me. I almost let my doubt about my chances get the best of me, but I trust his opinion to know me sometimes better than I know myself. This is as close to an ideal situation for me as I can fathom currently. I am in a paid internship for the first 6 weeks of this program and then assigned to their Sepulveda building to continue being mentored as a CA. The salary and benefits are great and almost unreal to think about. The people around me are intelligent and witty. There is a sense of respect from even those who teach us. The possibilities, however, are what keep me in a sense of awe and excitment. I may get to travel and see the world, while I work. I do not feel confined in one office, but part of a larger organism. This euphoria is causing my writing to be disjunct, but frankly, who cares. I feel like I finally did something I can be proud of. In rebuilding my grades, I was able to be hired at a hirer grade. My outlook is more positive. And I can finally proudly show the kind of person I've tailored and labored myself to be. My next step will be to save up and move out. If you asked me about moving out about 6 months ago, I think it'd feel like such a sobering and lonely prospect. Now, I feels like a natural step and I'm already planning out all the styles I want in my 2nd apartment. -=Chris=- | | |
| I have this overwhelming sense of irony at the moment. I spent the last 3-4 weeks of college studying the oncoming recession in the market, only to graduate into that very same recession. Bad luck or bad timing I guess. Doesn't help my moral however knowing the effects and its severity when my next step involved trying to get into the market itself. Reminds me of the times when I use to look weather reports before I headed off to class in Santa Cruz. Regularly, I would know all about a storm rolling in between my classes. Ultimately, it wouldn't change a thing because I'd still end up walking through it getting soaked.
On the work front, it's been barren and unfortunate. Even some of the more successful graduates this year are having trouble getting interviews. Can't even fill the time with some temporary jobs.
Despite trying to keep my own spirits up, I feel depressed, aggravated, and occasionally envious of others. Consequently, the most effective solution is to wait out till there's an upsurge in hiring. Too bad I'm not known for my patience.
-=Chris=-
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| ...there was a mute button for my brain.
I think watching End of Evangelion gave me that same monologuing mind voice-over thing that Shinji had.
-=Chris=-
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| Damn these gas prices. They've prevented me from indulging in my favorite hobby for summers, visiting the beach. Tragically, yesterday was the first day this whole year that I've hit the sands and the ocean.
Before I get to that, I also managed my first Anime Expo in 3 years. Definitely a bummer that it took that long. But, it's always a great experience to visit. Though not particularly stellar this year, I managed to see some good highlights through out the day. The atmosphere and the excitement is nostalgic. Some cute girls were lurking around. I also managed to get my hands on a Soul Calibur 4 demo. To quote Barney from How I Met Your Mother, that game will be "Legen - wait for it - dary." I think the exclamation point of the whole day was chowing down at Daikokuya for some bomb ass ramen.
July 4th weekend is also typically our celebration of Brian's birthday. Originally I had griped about going to Zuma again. It's not very friendly for surfers in terms of waves and so I opted now to bring my board. But, the day was immaculate. The kind of day where you can feel the heat with your skin, but the breeze keeps you cool. The water was cold, not frigid, and oh so very glassy. We bodysurfed, played some football, and even a few games of volleyball. I think Brian said it best, this year was a lot better in general because we've hung out with each other before.
I found myself mesmerized by the water around midday. I get swept over by this feeling of awe when I watch, listen, and feel the waves crashing. It gives me that thrill and temptation to just charge back in there no matter how strong the waves are. Those waves remind me of how I try to live. There are many things we have control of in life. There are just as many things (if not more) that are out of our control. Take job employment for example. You can keep biding your time and watching the breaks. Judging every opportunity and making some decisions. You jump in at a wave you think is a good match and ride hard. Sometimes you get tricked by the spray that precedes it and it ends up being a disappointment. But, it's not like you cannot recover from bad rides or bad falls. The important aspect is to keep charging back into it and trying things out until the moment comes. That one single moment where the perfect wave comes for you. Then and there, you have to give it your all to catch it and live in that moment. Does it seem fleeting or redundant? I guess I'd say yes. But there's nothing that compares to being part of the wave, rather than trying to fight against it. And in the end, you'll walk away with a story and some experience.
As a last note, I had far too much beer last night due to some unlucky draws by other people in King's Cup. I haven't felt that affected in a while. Though definitely, the experience is a lot more entertaining with my close buds. I wouldn't miss a chance to drink to Brian's birthday. Next time, I'll get the last laugh in those games haha.
-=Chris=-
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